View Full Sized ImageMedium: Oil on canvas
Size: W: 48in, H: 38in, D: N/A, Weight: 35lbs
Price: $500
Purchase ArtworkDescription: One step away from hopelessness: Step two I
wanted to revisit what I painted in the piece called 'Still uncomfortable'(1). There
was something about that piece that captivated people, and I found that surprising
because it was my least favorite at the time of completion. Most of the comments
from the audience were about the colors and how it looks as though it is
underwater. I decided to use myself as the subject of "One Step Away from
Hopelessness: Step two"(3) in order to keep a similar color scheme as 'Still
uncomfortable'(1). I also kept the size of the new piece and the placement of the
face similar to the original. Even though I wanted to revisit this piece, I did not want
to copy the original. The second piece was done a little less than a year later and I
was not in the same spiritual state and I had also became a better painter.
Although I used the same techniques and similar colors, I wanted to take the
painting to a higher level moving beyond what I already knew. As I was finishing
the painting I came to the same point where I had been before in "Still
uncomfortable"(1). The piece looked finished but it did not feel finished. I'm very
intuitive when it comes to painting. I knew that I needed to go further in my
exploration in this painting but there was the very real fear of making a huge mess
of the painting and possibly having to start over. If left as it was, the painting would
be a decent painting, some might even say it was beautiful, but it would still feel
incomplete to me. I had a choice to make; either leave it alone and still have the
feeling of incompleteness and take the safe route, or step away from my comfort
zone and risk making a muddy mess of the painting. I decided to take the risk. It
was painful and I was not sure of the results, but I went ahead full force and
reacted to the paint. The process felt like lifting weights. It was hard struggle and
very strenuous. In the end, the results were phenomenal. I was well pleased. The
technique that I used involved rubbing thin oil paint on selected areas using my oblit
tool. This style was an offshoot from another painting, "One Step Away from
Hopelessness: Step One"(2). In "Step one", I also used myself as the subject and I
used a similar rubbing technique. The difference was that I used a rag for rubbing,
laying the paint down, rubbing it in, removing some paint, and then repeating.
During the time that I made this painting I had come out of a depression. However,
even though my spirit was healed, my mind and body continued to do some of the
same things that my unhealed self had been doing. I still thought as though I was in
a depression, with low self-esteem, low self-confidence and setting low goals. I
would still sleep too long and talk myself out of going to the gym. In other words, as
I had while creating my painting, 'One Step Away from Hopelessness: Step two'(3), I
had to make a choice. I could either stay with what is comfortable or take a step out
of my comfort zone and risk destroying my life. I saw that in my life, I chose not to
risk. In 'Step two' I did take one step away from my normal way of painting. As a
result, I realized where I was spiritually and what I also needed to do in the physical
world. I was scared to make new moves in painting as well as in life, and I needed
to take steps away from my feelings of hopelessness in my life. In every piece of
artwork I create Jesus speaks to me and I speak back. In this piece he was speaking
to me about faith and risk. He was showing me fears that I did not realize I had,
and also what to do about them. I needed to go forward, trusting him one step at a
time.