Studies show that over 90% of our future happiness is highly correlated with the person we choose to marry. So, it is surprising that society doesn't teach us more about choosing a healthy partner. The more we know about healthy relationships, the more likely we are to create them. Building Healthy Relationships, University of Wisconsin -- Eau Claire
Here are four vital ingredients needed to form the foundation of a solid relationship. They are interlocking. None of these can be maintained without the others.
There is an important difference between “I love you because I need you,” and “I need you because I love you.” Love based on neediness doesn’t usually come from a healthy place within us, and will eventually smother the relationship. This kind of neediness is best addressed in counseling, before looking for a partner.
To feel good about yourself, and live a life you enjoy, and then find a person you gradually fall in love with, is the goal. Eventually, after you fall in love, you might gradually feel a healthy level of “need” because of the love.
Your primary relationship should enhance your life, not drain it
If you are feeling drained, inadequate, fearful, or overwhelmed because of this relationship (not due to other life stressors such as a death in the family or losing a job) most of the time, this relationship is probably not good for you. For more information regarding habits of successful couples, visit smartmarriages.com.
To enhance your awareness and knowledge about many facets of a relationship click on to the
Virtual Pamphlet Collection (Psychoeducational pamphlets produced by counseling centers organized by topic.)
A successful marriage takes a lot of commitment, hard work, and maturity. When those qualities are in place, marriage can be the most rewarding and fulfilling experience.
Keys to a Successful Marriage , (University of Wisconsin -- Eau Claire).
The bad news is that people in the U.S. who are marrying for the first time face approximately a
40 - 50% chance of divorcing in their lifetime
(Marriage & Divorce in United States)
Conflicts that become mismanaged can create and contribute to marital distress and dissatisfaction in couples. Many studies suggest that the difference between successful and unsuccessful marriages has more to do with how couples handle their disagreements than the number of disagreements a couple experiences. Successful couples use skills that create a stronger bond when communicating and processing a conflict. The GOOD news is that any couple can learn the skills necessary to strengthen their marital relationship. smartmarriages.com.
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