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Four Vital Ingredients for Healthy Relationships

Trust

Healthy RelationshipsHaving a partner you can trust will make all the difference in your feelings of happiness and sense of security in your relationship. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do you help each other when hurt or sick?
  • Do you share your strengths and weaknesses with each other?
  • Are you each there to encourage and support each other, on good days and bad?
  • Can you trust your partner not to repeat something you share privately?

Honesty

Of course there will be no trust without honesty. Open and truthful communication is vital to a good relationship. If you catch your partner lying to you, it will weaken your sense of trust. Also, if you find yourself lying to your partner, you will need to examine this carefully:

  • Are you lying to impress him/her? This will surely fail, as the truth tends to come out in the end. When it does, a foundation of mistrust will exist.
  • Are you lying because you fear his/her temper? If so, there might be a serious issue of anger and abusiveness. You should not have to feel afraid of your partner.
  • Do you notice that when you share your "truth," you feel genuinely closer to your partner?

Respect

This is the most difficult element for a couple to maintain in a relationship over the years. Having respect for each other includes feelings of genuine friendship and admiration for one another.

  • Do you admire your partner? Does he/she admire you?
  • Do you both listen to each other non-judgmentally?
  • Do you value each other’s opinion?
  • Do you both maintain a friendly tone of voice most of the time?
  • Do you show concern for each other’s welfare and happiness?
  • Do you laugh with each other, (not at each other!) regarding your personality quirks and differences?

Emotional and physical safety

Obviously, if you do not feel safe with your partner, something is very wrong. Feelings of not being safe emotionally are usually a result of emotional and verbal abuse. Intimate Partner Violence

  • Has your partner repeatedly made fun of you?
  • Has he/she betrayed your confidence?
  • Has he/she humiliated you in front of others?
    When this happens, couples tend to grow apart.
  • Has your partner thrown things around the house when angry?
  • Has he/she shaken or pushed you, threatened you, or outright hit you?

If so, there is definitely no physical safety, and this is a dangerous relationship. These patterns tend to escalate over time, and a safety plan is in order. You need to seriously consider if this relationship is worth preserving. End abuse

Couples who create feelings of equality in their partnership tend to be more successful over the long haul. This would include:

  • Being willing to compromise
  • Seeking mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict
  • Making family decision together
  • Making money decisions together
  • Making sure both partners benefit from financial arrangements
  • Mutually agreeing on a fair distribution of work

 

 

 

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