Are You Ready to Date

There are many things to consider before deciding to date or commit to someone who may not be from your culture.

•  Am I ready to date? "This is my first year in college," "I just got out of a relationship. Do I really want to start dating again?

•  Do I have the time with my school schedule? "I'm a full time student and I work a full time job" "I just joined a club on campus."

•  Do I find the person attractive? "No, "Yes", "Maybe."

•  Do they share my values and beliefs? " I would have nothing in common with the person." "We are two different faiths. "

•  Do I want to spend holidays and special events with this person? " I don't think they would fit in with my family or our customs."

•  Dating means potentially getting into a serious relationship. "I don't think I'm ready for that," "My parents still think I'm too young to get in a serious relationship." "In my culture we are not allowed to date."

•  Are you emotionally ready to deal with the issues that may arise from dating someone of a different culture or religion?

•  Are you secure in who you are and what you believe? Do I really know who I am and what I believe? " I am still trying to discover who I am" "My beliefs keep getting challenged."

•  How is your self-esteem?

Before considering dating a person of a different culture/race/religion, take an inventory of your own beliefs about biracial or interracial dating. It is very important for you to know what your values and beliefs are about dating, culture, spirituality and women and men's roles.

  • Do you believe in dating people of the same culture, religion or ethnicity?
  • Do you say to yourself, "I would never marry someone outside of my culture, ethnicity or religion"?
  • What do you think of interracial relationships?
  • Do you feel uncomfortable being around biracial or interracial couples?
  • Did you grow up in a home or community that did not agree with dating others from different cultures, ethnicities or religion?
  • Do you have friends who are biracial or of a different religion or ethnicity than yours?
  • Do you have friends who are ethnically or religiously different than you?  Do you notice that they are your "friends" at school, but you hesitate to bring your "friends" to your HOME to meet your family?
  • Do you have friends from a different race or culture than yours, with whom you are very close, but the thought of dating them is not an option BECAUSE of their race?
  • Has it ever bothered you to see someone from your culture, ethnicity, race or religion with someone who is not? How did that make you feel?
  • Would you feel guilty or ashamed if you dated someone of another race/religion/culture?
  • What are your thoughts and feelings about biracial and interracial couples marrying and having children?
  • Don't get into a relationship thinking that "there's no way I would marry the person, but I will date them for now." It is a waste of your time and you run the risk of really falling in love with the person. Then what would you do?
These are some questions for you to explore and consider. Be honest with yourself. Wanting to date within your own culture, ethnicity or religion is not racist. It is okay to want to date or even marry someone similar to you. But, do the social and cultural norms you grew up with prevent you from exploring the possibilities of an amazing relationship with someone different from you?



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