How to Help

 

You can play an important role in their healing process. You may not know what to do or say. You may feel powerless in the situation; you may want to help but do not know how.

  1. Start By Believing them - It can be very difficult for someone to come forward to share their story. Show support by believing in them.
  2. Be present and listen - Being present & listening to someone is often the most helpful thing you can do:
  3. Respond in an empowering way - Remind them that you are there for them and are willing to listen. Remind them there are others that care and services available to support them and help them recover.
  4. Communicate with Empathy - Acknowledge that this experience has affected their life. Phrases like “I imagine this is so difficult and “I am so glad you are sharing this with me” help to communicate empathy.
  5. Offer Resources - Know your local resources. Let the survivor know that there are many resources available to them. Offer the option of making an appointment to speak with a confidential advocate or offer other local resources. Let the survivor know that you will assist them in any way that is helpful but make sure you aren’t taking over. It is important that the survivor decides what steps they would like to take next.
  6. Holding Space - Walking alongside someone in whatever journey they are on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, or trying to impact the outcome.
  7. Allow them to make choices - Sexual violence, relationship violence and stalking take power and control away from the survivor. Your loved one should have the power and control over their own actions and responses to this experience. Do not tell them what to do. More than anything else, you can help by accepting and supporting their decisions, as long as their safety isn't at risk.
  8. Take care of yourself - Understand that you will have to deal with your own feelings of frustration, anger and sadness. It is important to keep these feelings from being directed at the person you want to help through this crisis. SAP is here to support you as well.

 

Responsible Employee/Mandated Reporters

  • If you believe a student, faculty, or staff is going to self-disclose, communicate your reporting duties to the individual.
  • If they disclose, be present, listen, and offer support. Let the individual know they can request an appointment with a Campus Advocate for more support.
  • Make the appropriate report afterward.